A strange premonition overwhelms me. It’s coming to a close. Everybody is on their way out. Bobby’s schizophrenia is getting worse as his psychosis increases, he has also become an alcoholic and I believe he may be back on the oxys. His girlfriend is on the verge of leaving him and when she does he will become completely unhinged I can feel it. I picture grey lands this time or maybe death.
The Pope is questioning his life, missing the booze and becoming bored with living inside of society for the first time in several years. The choice was his. No drinking for 6 months, go back to school and try to break away from the madness that surrounds our circle of friends. He is now on a journey of soul searching which I think will inevitably end up with him returning to his roots as the wild binge drinker who shouts out disturbing film quotes and acts in the most bizarre fashion I have ever witnessed.
Jack is back on the ice since he split from his girlfriend, smoking several pipes a day in a house he shares with (the most polite expression I can think of would be) scumbags. He still dresses in the same impeccable fashion I have always known of him but he is out every night of the week blowing over 3grand per week on drugs, strippers, booze, prostitutes.
Dean is back on the weed but his girlfriend Daisy doesn’t know it yet, I can tell instantly as he rarely says a word these days just like before. Daisy would kill him is she knew, she continues to be controlling, hoping she can change him. This is one thing I can never understand. If you go out of your way to get into a relationship with a person as she did, surely she was attracted to him as she found him? Now she wants to make these little upgrades and changes, and threatens to dump him if he does the things he did when she met him.
Freddy who is the most unpredictable and bizarre of my friends is now making a go of it with the mother of his surprise child. The child was conceived during a drunken one night stand that involved bondage and more obscene taboo sex acts. The mother had sex with another person that morning, so he was unsure until they took the blood test. He now lives with her and refuses to leave her house to see us; he says he enjoys fucking her and having her lactate into his mouth. They have agreed to have another child as he wishes to have sex with her at full pregnancy.
My best friend Jesse has not been in touch for 8 months now he is involved in a ménage a trios between a horrible Goth girl who enjoys knife play and her new boyfriend who is Mexican, a guitarist in a horrible metal band and a prick.
There is no one left, including myself. The dissociation increases. It is becoming harder for me to leave the house these days without getting dissociative and having a massive panic attack and rushing home. Reality and fantasy are moving closer together as I grow more distant from myself and my family. I have recently started seeing an extremely illusive girl by the name of Violet who has an interest in fossils, anal sex, sponge bob square pants and the Ramones. She claims to be 18 yet I have a horrible gut feeling that she is younger. We meet up in the city and visit museums then go to public gardens or parks and feel each other up, then go home and talk on the webcam. We have yet to have sex but are booked into a hotel for next week. She constantly talks of sexual perversions but yet claims to have only had sex with one person before. Violet also claims to study but will not tell me which university or tafe she studies at, which increases the fear inside me that she is actually still in high school. The Pope tells me to just go with it and then laughs loudly several seconds later.
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The Pope is 25 years of age of a smallish height, has a tan and looks Italian although he isn’t. He suffered an aneurysm in his younger years due to excessive meth amphetamine, ecstasy and alcohol abuse and has never been quite the same since. In high school he was highly popular due to his good looks and intellect. He still has the looks but is much slower and much more unpredictable. If he were normal I would feel honoured to have somebody like him as a friend. He is dating a woman named Nina who is 38. He claims she passes for 28 but in reality she looks her age if not much older. Her lips are fucked from Botox and she enjoys barbeques and making jams. When he drinks he is a complete mad man. I have several stories that will separate him from other people you will think of then I say a mad man when drunk. The Pope is on another level entirely.
We once took a road trip to Margaret River and went to a pub down there after drinking for most of the day. We were sat in the beer garden when The Pope began screaming at full volume
“GET ME A BUCKET I AM GONNA BE FUCKING SICK!” ...
He then he picked up his glass and started swirling it around lightly so that his beer was sprinkling on to the table, he then went around basically every table sprinkling a bit of his beer onto them. A few hours past and The Pope dived onto the bar and slid across it knocking all the glasses over in the process until he was on the other side. We were kicked out of the bar and went back to where we were staying. Bobby, Dean and a few others were playing cards on a table by the fire when The Pope let out an animalistic scream and then jumped onto the table smashing it to pieces then ran off into the woods. There is also another story which is now infamous. The Pope once spent a New Years Eve with his ex girlfriend and her entire family. Later in the night the father asked an extremely intoxicated Pope what his resolutions were. The Pope then put a finger to his head and made a banging noise and then emulated his brains being blown out over the table while an extremely shocked upper class family stared at him and then their daughter.
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My normal friends have all straightened out and got girlfriends and jobs or moved away. Most of them go out for dinner at night instead of pubs, and they frequent cafes and restaurants. If they do go to the pub they will have a few quiet drinks and go home early. When me and the remainder of my friends go anywhere we end up getting absolutely hammered and then go to some horrible night club until close. I then wake up the next morning with a fever due to an allergy I have to alcohol. It has gotten much worse lately also. I went out the other night and when I took a sip of beer I felt an agonizing burning pain run throughout my whole body.
I often feel like we are animals and lack the ability to blend in with regular society. My friends are social cripples and cannot have normal conversations without saying something unusual and inappropriate. A perfect example was when The Pope was chatting up a girl in a club and she asked him for a sip of his drink. He asked her jokingly
"You don't have AIDs do you?"
She did not see the funny side. I am over it. I want something more, I want to do the dinner thing. I want to wake up in the morning and not feel like dying. I want to be a human being for the first time in my life..
